VALENTINE'S DAY—MY 83RD FAVORITE HOLIDAY. IT'S THE ONE TIME A YEAR WHERE MY THRONGS OF FANS GET TO TELL ME HOW MUCH THEY LOVE AND MISS ME ON SNAPCHAT WITHOUT LOOKING LIKE TOTAL DIVS.
With all this love in the air, this black get-up encompasses just how little more my soul can take. You might be thinking—great, another guy who thinks he's above feelings and love and hates a holiday specifically celebrating those things—but I'm just indifferent about Valentine's Day. Also, didn't St. Valentine get his head totally chopped off?